Ellie's Adventures in Wonderland

  After a brief winter hiatus, I kick started my adventures for 2022 with a trip to Prague , courtesy of my lovely fella.  Our adventure began in the BA Lounge at Heathrow Airport. Not normally somewhere mere mortals such as myself hang out (as we're not allowed in), being a guest of Mike's granted me access to this exclusive, members-only club. Far superior to the plastic-seated waiting areas I'm used to, this was a place of wonder. With comfy seating, free food and unlimited free drinks (including booze), I stuffed two croissants down my pie hole, while Mike smashed back two glasses of champagne (actual champagne), despite it being 5.45am. Much to Mike's disgust, I dropped a pile of pastry crumbs and butter wrappings all over the floor, which enraged one particular lounge steward, who proceeded to give me death glares every time she walked past me, while simultaneously flicking her eyes between me and my crumb infested mess.  Once in Prague, we checked into our hotel ...

  This weekend's adventure was to Dudley and Kinver, in search of wonky pubs and cave houses.  The first stop on our journey was to the Crooked House pub in Dudley. Located out of town, after following a very convoluted route, we turned down a very unassuming looking track which meandered its way down to the pub. If it weren't for the intermittent signposts assuring visitors they are on the right track, you would be forgiven for thinking you had taken a wrong turn and ended up on the set of the Hills Have Eyes.  Exactly as the name suggested, we were indeed greeted by a crooked house. Going inside is like entering a fun house at the fair, and I was immediately overwhelmed by a feeling of sea sickness. Although the floors are straight (except for in the front vestibule), the walls and windows are all on the wonk, which gives the illusion that you are leaning. It wasn't a pleasant feeling and I couldn't imagine spending a long amount of time in there without vomiting....

  Part two of my birthday adventure consisted of two fun-packed days in Edinburgh . After a near four hour drive from Blackpool, we arrived in a sunny Edinburgh, which took us both by surprise as we assumed it always rained in Scotland. Here, we stayed at the  Marriott Courtyard Hotel .  Day One in Edinburgh consisted of dinner at the Hawksmoor , which was an astronomical delight, followed by a ghost tour - spooky! We were led around the Old Town by some git who called himself Dr Robert Knox . Your typical Am-Dram twat, we stupidly traipsed behind him whilst having to endure his boring tales (which was very reminiscent of spending time with Max). When the tour blessedly came to an end, we headed back to our hotel for some well earned sleep.  Day Two started off with a visit to Edinburgh Castle . There's not much to say about the castle, other than it's a castle, much like any other.  Following the castle we were booked into the Edinburgh Dungeons , where we...

  This week saw the arrival of my 42nd birthday (I know, I only look 30). And I was treated to a whole week's worth of adventures by my awesome fella, Mike.  My birthday kicked off with dinner with the family at the Rose & Crown , my current local until we move to Redditch (I assure you Alistair, it does exist). Here, I was given a series of riddles to answer to reveal the destinations for our adventure. Unsurprisingly, I couldn't solve any of the riddles.  The first leg of our journey was to Blackpool, somewhere I have been threatening to take the small child to for as long as I can remember. Our hotel, The Big Blue , was situated at the nicer end of Blackpool and next door to Blackpool Pleasure Beach , which Mike had booked us tickets for.  Upon arrival, we headed straight for the Big One , their iconic roller coaster and the highest in the UK. Luckily, the weather was on our side as we had to queue for 2hrs to ride the roller coaster of death. When it was fina...

This weekend’s adventure took me and Mike to Chepstow , where we stayed at the St Pierre Hotel & Country Club . The hotel is surrounded by a magnificent golf pitch, and the hotel itself is akin to a small castle or country estate. Our room was a suite in the Lakeside Village, which was a small collection of purpose-built houses each containing three rooms. As you would expect from a suite, we had our own separate lounge, as well as a balcony and a super-massive bed. The first thing we did upon arrival was crack open the fizzy pop we’d bought with us. Despite having a fridge in the room to chill our booze, due to covid we weren’t provided with any glasses so were forced to slurp our prosecco out of paper coffee cups. As anyone who knows me well will know, I’m not the most refined or sophisticated person, but even this was beneath my standards. We merrily drank our way through the first bottle regardless, then headed off in search of the pool. Whilst the pool didn’t quite live up to ...

This weekend's adventure spanned over the whole weekend and was spent in Shitsville Birmingham. For this adventure, I was joined by the lovely Mike.  In preparation for my mammoth trek around the Brecon Beacons later in July to raise money for Llamau , we headed off on Saturday to Sutton Park . I will be taking on the Brace the Brecons challenge with Max (that in itself deserves a hefty donation). I will obviously post a blog of our adventures after the challenge - if we survive. Anyway, back to Sutton Park.  Our walk started off promising. We aimed to do a circular walk of the park, totaling around 7 miles. We stopped off after the first mile at a boating lake and took to the water in a pedal-powered steamer. Mike did most of the hard work, my pedaling was more of a token gesture.  After a lap of the lake, we disembarked the steamer and continued along the trail. I should point out here that Mike was chief navigator for our walk, and frequently consulted Google maps to...

For this week's adventure I was joined by brother dearest, in search of the fabled windmill of Leinthall Starkes .  Having no idea where the windmill was located, but assuming it wouldn't be hard to spot, we drove from one end of the village to the other (which took about 20 seconds, as the village consists of one road). There was no sight of the windmill, so we drove down the road to Ben Elton , where we came across a curious unmanned stall selling crap (presumably donated by the locals). Upon the stall was a sign stating whoever stole the cake cover should return it, or else the authorities would be informed, and they had CCTV footage. Somehow I doubt the local constabulary would waste their time on such petty matters, but then maybe I'm wrong and in these areas a crime of this level would not go unpunished. We left the village shop and headed back into Leinthall Starkes, determined not to give up on our search for the windmill. After driving through the village a second ...