The windmills of my mind

For this week's adventure I was joined by brother dearest, in search of the fabled windmill of Leinthall Starkes. 

Having no idea where the windmill was located, but assuming it wouldn't be hard to spot, we drove from one end of the village to the other (which took about 20 seconds, as the village consists of one road). There was no sight of the windmill, so we drove down the road to Ben Elton, where we came across a curious unmanned stall selling crap (presumably donated by the locals). Upon the stall was a sign stating whoever stole the cake cover should return it, or else the authorities would be informed, and they had CCTV footage. Somehow I doubt the local constabulary would waste their time on such petty matters, but then maybe I'm wrong and in these areas a crime of this level would not go unpunished.

We left the village shop and headed back into Leinthall Starkes, determined not to give up on our search for the windmill. After driving through the village a second time and still not seeing it, and with Max questioning whether I dreamt the whole thing up, I conducted a thorough search on Google Maps until I finally lucked upon it. We parked up the motor and headed off on foot across the fields (on a public footpath) until we eventually found it. 

Pleased that I had been proven right, and the windmill did actually exist, we made our way back to the motor and onwards to Wigmore for some light refreshments. 

The first pub we happened across was the Castle Inn, and we were overjoyed to see a sign outside saying 'Open All Day', to which Max quipped, "open all day except Saturday's" - oh how we giggled. We parked up the motor and headed for the front door, only to be greeted in the car park by who I assume was the landlady, chuffing away on a fag, who informed us they were indeed closed. You couldn't make this up. It appears Max is some sort of prophet, as well as being a massive twat. 

Dumbfounded by this news, we bimbled up the road to The Oak, who we were relieved to find were open and welcomed us in. We took a seat in the garden on some chumfy sofas and ordered ourselves some liquid refreshments. 

After finishing our drinks, Max said he wanted to go for lunch at The Lion in Leintwardine, where we had dined on a previous adventure, and who had a good range of special needs vegan food. Max ordered the asparagus and pea risotto, and I had a bowl of chips with bread and butter. Although Max also wanted chips, he decided, as he'd had hashbrowns for breakfast, he couldn't have potato twice in one day - wise piggy. As he's always bragging about how rich he is, I made Max pay for lunch, and I think he was actually a little sick in his mouth when the bill came to £28 - which was ridiculously excessive for what we ate plus two Diet Cokes, but my bread and butter alone cost £4! Despite this, the idiot still wants to eat there again so he can have some chips. 

After leaving the pub, we headed to Mortimer Forest.  Along the way, we stopped off again at the Ben Elton thrift stall, where Max bought me a fork for 10p. We will keep this in the motor for future adventures, as we both felt it would come in useful. After leaving the thrift stall, we parked up at the Vinnalls car park and headed off into the woods. The most exciting thing that happened here was Max lifting a fallen branch.

By this point, Max was starting to get tired, and I was starting to get tired of his company, so we did a brief walk around the woods (0.67 of a mile to be precise), before heading back to the motor and off home. Poor Max was too tired to drive any more, so I did the return leg, whilst he napped. He looks like a git when he's sleeping.

And so ends our windmill adventure. Not quite our most boring adventure to date, but not far off. I would definitely go back to Mortimer Forest and explore more of that, and apparently there are some amazing views along the Vinnalls Loop. And if you can find it, I'd recommend checking out the windmill. Give the Castle Inn a miss, because it likely won't be open. However, The Oak is worth a visit, as is The Lion (although don't order bread and butter). 

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