Ellie's Adventures in Wonderland

    This weekend's adventure was to the Long Mynd in Shropshire. I picked up Max and stupidly handed over the driving to him. I soon came to regret this only 3 minutes into our journey, when he nearly careered into the back of another motor because he wasn't paying the slightest attention to the road ahead. Needless to say, his rubbish driving didn't improve as the journey went on.  Our first stop was to Gregg's just outside of Leominster, as Max was hungry. Despite specifically requesting a non-vegan sausage roll, he bought me a vegan one anyway and tried to palm it off as meat (I think he was under the impression I'm as stupid as him. I'm not). I have to admit, the pretend sausage roll was actually not bad, although it was disappointingly cold and I would've preferred actual meat. Apparently vegans can't purchase meat because they will lose their souls to Satan himself. They are silly people.  While munching our food stuffs on the road, and with Max d...

  After a two-week break, my return to adventuring saw me and my idiot brother go in search of Gullet Quarry . Luckily for me, Max wasn't sure he was actually covered by his insurance to drive my motor, so his incompetence didn't make it anywhere near the steering wheel. Located amongst the Malvern Hills, the quarry is very much like all disused quarries, and consists of rocks and water. It is also highly dangerous, with the local rag claiming it poses not a single, not a double, but a triple death threat . The highest level of death threat available.  Ensuring we were vigilant, we proceeded with caution on our walk around the quarry. Max had made the mistake, yet again, of coming unsuitably attired for our adventure, and whinged like a little girl the whole way about his best shoes getting muddy. The man truly is a fool.  We scaled the cliff face by way of a filth laden, barely there path, accompanied by Max's incessant whining about his bloody shoes, and eventually emer...

  This weekend's adventure was a Halloween Special. And what better way to celebrate all things ghostie, than a walk in the driving rain, up a hill, with my prat of a brother.  With little to no imagination between the two of us, we set off on the first part of our spooky adventure - Garway Hill (a location famously known for not being even remotely spooky). We took Max's motor on this adventure, and it soon became clear why I didn't want to take mine. The track up to the car park was what Max described as 'looking like it had been shelled' - having prior knowledge of this, and seeing Max slowly destroy my motor over all of our previous adventures, I thought it far better to destroy the pile of crap he drives.  By the time we parked up, the weather was perfectly foul. However, we persisted with our stupid quest to walk to the summit of the hill; with me suitably attired in welly boots and waterproof jacket, and the idiot wearing absolutely nothing waterproof (despi...

For this weekend's adventure, I was reunited with Brother Dearest - oh, how I didn't miss him on my last adventure.  The first stop on our expedition was to Shobdon Arches , which unsurprisingly is in the village of Shobdon. Accessed by a delightful tree-lined avenue, parking is available alongside the church (watch you don't park in the Rector's space as we nearly did). On the outside of the gated entrance there was a small yellow button, which Max dared me to press. Obviously I couldn't resist, and duly pressed it. However, conclusions came there none as to what it actually did. I pondered whether it was a doorbell to alert the Rector to the presence of parishioners unable to climb the steps (I'm not entirely sure what use the Rector would be to them).  After a nose around the church, which is actually quite nice, we walked up another tree-lined avenue to the arches. With the trees in full autumn mode, the walk up was enchanting, especially as we neared the ar...

    This weekend's adventure took me once again into Wales - this time to Devil's Bridge Falls in Ceredigion. As brother dearest was away, I had no choice but to drag along my long-time chumly Phil. I picked Phil up at 10.20am and was kept waiting around while he fart-knocked about, smoking fags. After a mere 2 minutes on the road Phil started whining like a little girl, wanting to stop for coffee. Realising his incessant whingeing wouldn't stop until he got his caffeine, we pulled over at the Co-op. Finally setting off again on our journey, we managed to drive 20 minutes further down the road before Phil now wanted to stop for a fag to go with his coffee. So we pulled over at Kington Cemetary and admired the graves. It was a lovely day for the dead.  Back on the road again, we were finally able to continue our journey with no more interruptions. However, when we reached our location, Phil now demanded a beer before we walked around the Falls. So after parking up the mot...

    This weekend's adventure was to the Wye Valley, an area I have spent a lot of time in, but thought I'd try out some new places. Brother Beyond once again joined me on the trip. Our first stop was Browns of Llandogo for refreshments. At this point, ever the tight arse, Max grumbled about having to pay (despite never contributing a single penny towards fuel for our trips and slowly destroying my car every time he drives it).  After begrudgingly buying our drinks, we drove on to Tintern . Fun fact - Tintern is where the tinternet was invented. Here we ventured to the abandoned St Mary's Church , the first derelict building on our journey. The church burned down from fire in 1977 and never grew back.  After leaving the church, we attempted to break into the abandoned Abbey Hotel. We failed miserably. The next stop on our journey was to the 365 Steps , a series of steep stone steps built into the hillside. Max attempted to count the steps but gave up at 6, which isn'...

  This weekend's adventure was again on the search of waterfalls, and this time it was a trip for the whole Salsbury family.  On an overcast Sunday morning, my folks, brother and I, jumped in the motor and headed for Merthyr Tydfil, as Father Salsbury wanted to see the stunning scenery Max and I had encountered on our previous waterfall adventure. Our first stop was Abergavenny for coffee (Mother and Father can't go far without stopping for coffee on journeys, I assume it's an age thing), and after fruitlessly searching for a 'free car park' which apparently was a lie designed to trick visitors, we ended up at the Get Together coffee shop and lounge bar. We sat out the front and enjoyed some tasty beverages. After leaving Aber, Max reliably informed us that he could remember the way to our destination. Unsurprisingly, he bungled the directions and we went sailing past our turning, only to end up going to Brecon and nowhere near where we wanted to go. This mishap c...