Ellie's Adventures in Wonderland

Today, me and Mike headed off to the Elan Valley to see the dams. Based just outside the town of Rhayader in Powys, the Elan Valley contains six dams which are used to hoard vast quantities of H2O for Welsh Water . They stockpile this water and sell it back to us common folk to use in our taps, even though they themselves pay nothing for it. Not for profit my arse. Having visited the dams many times before, this trip was to one of the dams I had never seen before - indeed I didn't even know of its existence until recently. On route, we stopped off at some interesting looking rocks which formed part of a stream. We were greeted by a sign warning us of death, but we promptly ignored this and merrily skipped off onto the rocks. Some might call this utter stupidity. We called it bravery. Mike got a little upset when his pretty trainers got splashed by some bog water. However, the bog water was no threat to me in my flip flops (which are ideal rock climbing footwear).  Before continuin...

At the age of 41, I have finally found happiness. That’s not to say I haven’t been happy before in my life, it’s just that now I am genuinely happy with pretty much most of my life. 12-months ago things weren’t so good. I was in a toxic relationship and in a job I didn’t like. Coupled with that, it was at the start of the first Covid lockdown. I knew things were really bad when I would lie in the bath until it went cold, sobbing and wishing I wasn’t here anymore. I didn’t wish I was dead, I just didn’t want to exist. I wanted everything to stop. The one thing I really wanted to get away from was myself. But wherever I went, I was there. Alcohol only made things worse. Sure, I’d get a temporary high and think ‘fuck it’, but it didn’t take long for the low to kick in, and I’d feel like shit again, only the booze would make it feel 10 times worse. And there were the times I would just start crying for no reason. I would cry so hard I couldn’t catch my breath and thought I was choking....

 Today's little adventure took me and Max to the little known hamlet of Westhide . Twas here that we spent our childhood years, getting up to mischief (Max mainly) and doing things that kids today have never heard of - such as making dams or walking.  It was a gloriously sunny day, albeit slightly on the chilly side. We began our adventure at the farm, where we set off across the fields in search of what according to Max was something truly exciting - I don't think anyone will be remotely surprised when I say that it wasn't. But before we get to the boring part, I'd like to share this amusing video with you of Max in a hamster wheel. Why? I hear you ask - because this idiot will do just about any stupid thing you ask him to without question. So, back to the spectacularly underwhelming surprise. We first happened across a small man-made lake, dug to water strawberries in a neighbouring strawberry plantation. Now, anyone who knows me well will know that water is one of my...

  After a long hiatus due to Covid restrictions, Brother Dearest was able to join me once again for an adventure. It wasn't all bad though, our good friend Emma flew in from Northampton and joined us as well.  This week's exploration took us to the Gloucestershire village of Frampton on Severn , where we followed the Sharpness Canal to Slimbridge. The first stop on our journey was Over Farm for a takeaway coffee as Emma was getting bad tempered and irritable. After purchasing our refreshments, Emma and myself were accosted in the car park by a chap asking us if we knew where a caravan site was in the area. After giving him some vague directions to a caravan site me and Max had possibly made up, I tired of the conversation and wondered back to the motor with Max. Emma, however, decided to hang around and ask the man the purpose of his visit. His supposed story was that he had just flown into the country that very morning to check on his gal pal, who had left her husband and be...

It's been a while since I've been on an adventure. Partly due to inclement weather, but mostly to do with the wretched coronavirus.  This weekend, however, I went exploring in Lickey Hills Country Park . Located in Lickey, Birmingham, for all of you who have never heard of Lickey Hills, I agree with you, it is a silly name. However, the park is actually far from silly.  Due to social distancing restrictions, I was unable to be accompanied by brother dearest on this adventure (some might say this was a blessing), so I was instead joined by my fella. To protect his identity, I shall refer to him as 'Mike', which coincidentally is his name.  We parked at the Rose & Crown car park (parking is free), where there was also a handy cafe offering takeaways. We were greeted by a filthy pond, which in summer I'm sure looks delightful. However, as we were visiting in the middle of winter, the park was a muddy quagmire and presumably the ducks had traipsed mud into the pond ...

    This weekend's adventure was to the Long Mynd in Shropshire. I picked up Max and stupidly handed over the driving to him. I soon came to regret this only 3 minutes into our journey, when he nearly careered into the back of another motor because he wasn't paying the slightest attention to the road ahead. Needless to say, his rubbish driving didn't improve as the journey went on.  Our first stop was to Gregg's just outside of Leominster, as Max was hungry. Despite specifically requesting a non-vegan sausage roll, he bought me a vegan one anyway and tried to palm it off as meat (I think he was under the impression I'm as stupid as him. I'm not). I have to admit, the pretend sausage roll was actually not bad, although it was disappointingly cold and I would've preferred actual meat. Apparently vegans can't purchase meat because they will lose their souls to Satan himself. They are silly people.  While munching our food stuffs on the road, and with Max d...

  After a two-week break, my return to adventuring saw me and my idiot brother go in search of Gullet Quarry . Luckily for me, Max wasn't sure he was actually covered by his insurance to drive my motor, so his incompetence didn't make it anywhere near the steering wheel. Located amongst the Malvern Hills, the quarry is very much like all disused quarries, and consists of rocks and water. It is also highly dangerous, with the local rag claiming it poses not a single, not a double, but a triple death threat . The highest level of death threat available.  Ensuring we were vigilant, we proceeded with caution on our walk around the quarry. Max had made the mistake, yet again, of coming unsuitably attired for our adventure, and whinged like a little girl the whole way about his best shoes getting muddy. The man truly is a fool.  We scaled the cliff face by way of a filth laden, barely there path, accompanied by Max's incessant whining about his bloody shoes, and eventually emer...